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[Carrie's Weekly News] The danger of reading only who you like
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Hi Reader, A lot of my time is spent reading. As a writer, it’s my ethical and professional responsibility to read other writers. Thank goodness I love it. Reading allows me to explore the voices of many writers on multiple platforms. There are folks I follow on Medium and Substack, Facebook, in The Sun magazine, and in books. I learn about the power of the written word from the format they use, their style, phrasing, and the themes they write about. One of the writers I’ve been following for a few months is Maryam Mehrtash. She writes on Substack and was a member of my writing program this year. She recently published an article on the dangers of groupthink, also known as the Echo Chamber Effect. And it got me thinking about who I choose to read and why. (Read her whole article here: We've Become A Society of Groupthink On Steroids) Mehrtash writes: "I’m always fascinated when I see really smart people make false assumptions and agree with the crowd without fact-checking. […]
The interesting thing is this: most people who unfollow or unsubscribe don’t do it because something is false. They do it because it feels wrong, because it threatens their belief system. [...]
That discomfort is called cognitive dissonance, the mental friction that happens when facts conflict with belief, faith, or values (Festinger, 1957).
Our brains are wired for confirmation, not confrontation. Cognitive Psychologists call it confirmation bias, the tendency to seek evidence that supports what we already believe (American Psychological Association, 2018). It’s the cognitive comfort food of the digital age.
That dopamine rush when you see a post that validates your worldview? That’s the high of agreement. Certainty is the most expensive drug on the market. The first hit is free, but it comes at the cost of your ability to learn. And it’s also why courage, the act of staying open to discomfort, feels like withdrawal."
As a doula, I had to keep up-to-date on research pertaining to pregnancy and birth. I especially wanted to read studies that conflicted with my beliefs about normal physiology (which was easy in a culture obsessed with medicalized birth). My beliefs, combined with that friction, created the dissonance that kept my mind sharp; it shaped me into a critical thinker. It made me look at research with an analytical eye and form even stronger arguments for normal physiological birth. Or, it forced me to add more nuance to what I already understood, and expanded the information I could share with clients. I especially wanted to find research that conflicted with my beliefs about normal physiology. But as a writer? Writers tend to write about what we like. We share a very particular story: our story. We worry more about conveying our ideas so well that others adopt them, rather than expanding our own ideas in the act of writing. My expansion as a writer comes from the act of reading. From seeking disparate voices, new forms of craft, and unique ways to express ideas. So what causes me to unsubscribe from another writer? My reasons fall into three categories:
It’s really hard to read bad writing when you yourself are focusing on the writing craft. Just like any professional who sees shoddy work done by someone else in their field. It almost hurts, so I just avoid that. I remember hating the propaganda images from China in 6th-grade Social Studies, how they were designed to brainwash people by exaggerating physical appearances or portraying drastic situations. People do that now with AI images and dramatic headlines that don’t accurately portray reality. I still hate that shit! And that third category? There are some people I care about enough that I don’t want to dislike them because of their ideas. I know their beliefs conflict with mine, but I’m willing to focus on our shared values and interests rather than disconnect with them entirely. However, if I have no real connection to the person, there’s no reason to keep them in my life and I will unfollow them. Mehrtash again: "Courage isn’t comfort. It’s curiosity and choosing to test what you believe, not just repeat it louder. We’ve mistaken comfort for truth. The algorithm feeds our ego, not our intellect.
But as any great leader, parent, or artist knows, courage doesn’t grow in echo chambers. It grows in friction, in disagreement, dialogue, and uncertainty.
I have no problem changing my mind. In fact, I do it often. With new data, new context, new information. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good debate, and I will passionately argue my points, but when I’m in a debate, I have no attachment to being right. I’m attached to the truth, to the facts, and I’m always open to hearing and learning from both sides of an argument.
That, to me, is real intelligence. Not defending what you know, but being brave enough to update it."
Our brains and hearts are designed to expand. Think of all the negative references we have to not using the full capacity of these organs: closed-minded, hardened heart, one-track mind, heartless, lose your mind, broken-hearted, mind-numbing, half-hearted, mind like a sieve, heart of stone. Keeping an open mind and open heart benefits your mental health and community, and your physical health and longevity. So for your own well-being, Mehrtash offers these 5 guidelines to overcoming mental or emotional rigidity: As always, I love to hear how others navigate life. Please let me know how you keep your heart and mind open! What I'm listening to, reading, and watching: Anya Nami—I was riding with my son and this artist was playing. I really liked her voice. So, as always, I Googled her. Turns out, she’s known for being very mysterious. Always wears a mask. Born in Russia but lives in Turkey. Controversial politics, perhaps. Anyone have insights about this artist to share with me? Or just enjoy her music. Cloud Cuckoo Land—I loved this book so much. Sooooo much! I love braided narratives. I love that at its essence, the book is about the power of story. I love the characters and how their behaviors and motives are revealed. I love that in the end, and at the beginning and throughout it all, to love and be loved is all we really want. French Lover—A famous actor, a struggling waitress, a clash at the restaurant where she works and she storms out…you know how it ends, right? But it’s in France and the characters are fun. Netflix. What are you listening to, reading, or watching that you think I’d like? Reply and let me know. Wishing you light and love, Carrie Carrie Kenner Author, So You Want to Be a Doula |
Carrie Kenner
Interested in becoming a doula, marketing your doula business, or what keeps a person (me) motivated and engaged in this work for over 20 years? Join my weekly newsletter on doulas, writing, ponderings on life and whatever is feeding my fire at the time, and get freebies and special discounts on courses.
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